LONELINESS
The economic and cultural ascendancy of video games has collided with a social crisis that we are only beginning to understand: the isolation, emotional stagnation and profound loneliness of American men. Recent surveys indicate that loneliness is reaching epidemic proportions among Americans. According to a 2018 Cigna survey, more than 40 percent of Americans feel that their relationships are not meaningful and that they are generally isolated from others; 20 percent rarely or never feel close to anyone. Young adults between 18 and 22 score higher on scales of loneliness than any other group.
There’s good reason to think that single men are uniquely vulnerable to social isolation and its repercussions. Studies suggest that men rely primarily on a partner for emotional intimacy, whereas women are more likely to have additional support from close friends; men in their late 30s lose friends at a faster rate than women; and men are more likely to kill themselves because of prolonged emotional or social detachment. In three decades of research, Niobe Way, a professor of developmental psychology at New York University, has observed a striking pattern of behavior among American boys: in early adolescence, they are openly affectionate with one another, speaking freely of love and lifelong bonds; by late adolescence, as they become cultured to project an image of masculinity, heterosexuality and stoicism, they start to distance themselves from their same-sex friends. One 17-year-old told Way that “it might be nice to be a girl, because then you wouldn’t have to be emotionless.”
–Ferris Jabr, New York Times Magazine
another eye opens 