cultural commentary from the desk of Don Shewey
Seeing Judith Ivey in the recent production of The Glass Menagerie reminded me of this story I wrote about her for US Magazine in 1985. I was working extra-hard to position myself as a cheeky freelance magazine writer in those days, you’ll see. It was the only piece I ever wrote for US.
LOVE
Love: the skillful audacity required to share an inner life.
— Gertrude Stein
On the occasion of the special Tony Award to the O’Neill Center in Connecticut, I thought I’d post the feature article I wrote for the New York Times in 1982 about the O’Neill’s founder, George C. White, who was a nice, smart, down-to-earth guy (pictured below with his wife Betty). See the article here.
“I Should Go,” Levi Kreis
“Icicles,” Patty Griffin
“Put ‘Em in a Box,” Doris Day
“Pastourelle,” Dawn Upshaw
“In My Life,” Patti Austin
“Sinning Hands,” Iron & Wine
“The Death of Ferdinand de Saussure,” Magnetic Fields
“Paparazzi,” Lady Gaga
“Love That Conquers,” the Swell Season
“Oll Birtan,” Bjork
“Heimdalsgate like a Promethean Curse,” Of Montreal
“Car Wheels on a Gravel Road,” Lucinda Williams
“Reaching for the Moon,” Lizz Wright
“It’s You or No One,” Doris Day
“Bitch Went Nuts,” Ben Folds
“Another Minute,” Champion Lovers
“Wake Up in New York,” Craig Armstrong
“Live Long,” Kings of Convenience
“A Good Idea at the Time,” OK Go
“Lady Jessica and Sam,” Hope Sandoval & the Warm Inventions
“I’m a Stranger Here Myself,” Kristin Chenoweth
“Never Forget You,” Noisettes
“Never See You,” Rochas
”Top of the Stairs,” Ashford & Simpson
“1001 Nights,” Lhasa de Sala
“Light of the Moon,” Riverman
“Third Self-Portrait Series,” Rachel’s
“Prove My Love,” Lucinda Williams
“Flightless Bird, American Mouth,” Iron & Wine
“Hard Part,” David Wilcox
“Homecoming (Walter’s Song),” Vienna Teng
“Little Bird,” Goldfrapp
“Dust My Broom,” Cassandra Wilson
WAY OF WEEPING
Part of what makes treating men challenging is that they generally don’t signal their psychic pain as clearly and straightforwardly as women. In the postfeminist turmoil of shifting relationship dynamics, men have been struggling to find a way to relate intelligently, parent sensitively, and manage their emotional needs with more consciousness and depth. Many of us haven’t figured out a way to do all these things and still really feel like men. Author William Pollack describes men’s anger as their “way of weeping”—an expression of underlying pain that women would more likely display with tears or more direct expressions of sadness and loss. Men also “weep” by drinking, withdrawing, acting defensive, blaming others, getting irritable, being possessive, working excessively, becoming overly competitive, suffering somatic complaints and insomnia, and philandering.
As therapists, we have two choices: shoehorn men into a process that’s traditionally been more user-friendly for females, or reshape what we do and how we present it to better reach male clients.
— David Wexler, Psychotherapy Networker
another eye opens 